You need to be aware of and conserve your energy. Use discernment when its use is in your highest and best. As you use your energy differently, you learn how and where you are replenished and drained. It is understandable to wrestle with the guilt of prioritizing what you feel and understand you need after all the programming your human psyche and body have experienced.
As you earn back the trust of your parts and self and show them you are genuinely listening and responding kindly, more of your energy will flow freely through your system. You have parts that are siphoning off energy into reserve tanks. They are doing this in preparation for a situation that requires fight or flight. Expecting you to do what you have always done, being the person of responsibility to everyone other than herself. We know that you, your parts, and your self, are starting to learn, but this takes time.
Over the next couple of months, you will explore aspects of yourself that you have not experienced in decades. This time will evoke various emotions and reactions: fear, awe, insecurity, confidence, curiosity, and anxiousness. Allow yourself to feel, acknowledge and be curious as to why this e-motion (energy in motion) is visiting and why you defaulted to the knee-jerk response. Each time you allow yourself to process and learn, you release. As you have been told, not everything has a psychological reason. Some programs are legacy (in your DNA, past lives, other lives, and dimensions). Even if you cannot see the direct correlation (I feel X and want to do Y because of Z), how and what you feel is valid.
You get to choose if you want to keep that program and if you don’t. If you decide to release it, you get to replace it with concepts that currently align with who you understand yourself to be. Then in the future, you get to review and choose based on who you have become. Each moment is a choice toward the next version of yourself. Who do you ultimately want to be?